KAGs plus thehoTTman

i know you keep a list. the criteria list for dating. the C-list (because well…they have to at least pass) but let’s skip all the yawn stuff like…has to be educated/ smart/ cute etc. etc. etc. understood. you want to be with someone employed who doesn’t need to wear a paper bag or a body bag for that matter. (chuby chasing is cool as long YOU are absolutely confident about it. Hitch would not have made it without Kevin James). but. funny thing is. that’s not going to make you booyah. let’s talk about the real list. the AWESOMENESS list. the A-list. things that you find hoTT. if you already have one…awesome to you. if you don’t have one…make one. Here are my big threes:

1) be a sports fan. pick a team. home team a definite plus. love them. know them. and don’t forget to know all the rest of the players/coaches/teams/major management in the league. key to understanding how your team is going to be played. aka walking encyclopedia. what if not a basketball/baseball/football fan? hmm…let’s just say that if being a sports fan does not consist of a multitude of player stats within a team, btw teams and playoff fever…not fulfilling this item. sure…we’ve seen Fever Pitch with Jimmy Fallon + his Red Sox. All those memorabilia stuff…too much. Every game?? At this age…arguably, hands down…too much. But the dance-off…pretty funny!! Now, if you are a Red Sox fan, once again, not fulfilling this item. Being as thehoTTman is non other than a Red Sox fan himself, he’s probably not too happy with me dissing his team. Seriously…give it up. Be a HOME team fan. Time to buy a new hat. ON ME. But I absolutely love that you sat thru all those basketball games as a REAL HOME team fan.

2) loves to cook. I can’t cook. for years, I’ve lied to myself that I’ll love to. I’m over that. Don’t like to, can’t. (note: if you don’t make me do dishes, you are definitely awesome). The only thing in the kitchen I love is the refrigerator. Wish mine had an automatic ice-maker. Gdess refuses to fill up the ice tray for me…Cruel! But, reality is…it’s pretty hoTT that a guy can cook. but, seriously. For me, this is a must. The only way to have home cooked meals with me. Since I don’t, you must. …and please be a great cook!

3) be where I am from. now, I hate writing this part. I don’t believe in it. But I speak another language other than English. Please speak it too. and, all the funny nuances of the language that go hand in hand with the culture? Well, it kind of goes hand in hand with being brought up speaking the language. But here is where it stops. If you only hang with those who are from where you are from…it’s not so hoTT. Don’t be self-cultural…at the same time don’t be other-cultural.

One more thing. Must know the corrected answer to the question “do you know what nova scotia is?” when pointing to the an item on the menu [smoked nova scotia]. Must know how to pronounce scotiabank, and where they are from. Else, Canada will laugh you out of my life.